i love computer viruses not

I love computer viruses. NOT!

To borrow the title of Pink's latest album, I'm Not Dead! A group of

ravenous computer viruses got the better of my computer last week,

rendering me internet-less (bad for blogging, even worse for an online

class...I'm coming, SP 410 discussion group!). Today my techy brother

finally wiped my hard drive--SO stressful--and reinstalled everything

(although he refused to replace my late 90's version of Zoo Tycoon,

the elitist bastard), so I think I'm good to go.

Speaking of going in the past tense, I went to IKEA for the first time

this weekend. Wow, was that a life changer. This won't surprise anyone

who's been there before, but I got a floor lamp for eight bucks! Eight

bucks! And it hasn't even caught fire yet! The lamp is really boring;

I only bought it because its name is NOT.

See, at IKEA all the products are labeled with what I assume are their

Swedish titles (although those silly Swedes could slap Br�stv�rta on

the side of a shoe rack and I'd be like, "Well isn't that nice?"). The

box my lamp came in says NOT on the side. This gives me great joy, as

it has allowed me to do this, many times:

Me: I got this really cool thing at IKEA! NOT!

Friend: Oh...umm...so you didn't get anything?

Me: No, I got the best thing ever. NOT!

Friend: Couldn't find anything?

Me: NOT!

Friend: I'm not good with double negatives.

Me: Guess what I got at IKEA? NOT!

Friend: So..did you want me to guess? Or no?

Me: NOT!

Friend: Umm...

Me: It only cost me eight bucks! NOT!

Friend: I got a couch at IKEA for 8 bucks.

Me: Oh. wow.