computer software

Computer Software.

Do you ever have problems using computer software? Not me. I find that

at this point in software's evolution, it has generally been through a

rigorous QA/usability evaluation, and if the user will simply take the

calm, sober, and SINCERE time to assess the product's purposes and

limitations, all will be well. I am sick to death of overhearing

nitwits whining about the latest version of this-or-that, either in

public or on the various usability boards I peruse.

Take this morning, for example. I was having an Espresso at Greg's

Uptown Diner, trying to shake off the sleepies after a late, frenzied

night on the History channel messageboards, when in wandered a couple

of crisply-dressed, sharply-coiffed executive women. Each wore a

cellular telephone on her belt, and expensive jewelry. To my

amusement, they sat at the table next to mine and began to chatter

this way and that about FormatMaker 7, a freeware spreadsheet program

in which I am especially well-versed.

Most FM7 newbies will first have trouble with the GUI, which does not

waste screen real estate on graphical icons, and instead has a row of

numbers, representing command categories, which, when moused over

while pressing Shift, drop down into sub-command columns, represented

by single letters. One can blitz through this program using

keyboard-based power-shortkeycuts. If you want visual proof, I have

several .avi files of me doing just that, available via my

members-only ftp site.

Apparently their CTO was trying to save the company money by using

freeware, (smart move, definitely) but his users (these two

nincompoops, for example) were simply unwilling to spend even one hour

familiarizing themselves with the software they would more than likely

be using for the rest of their lives. Imagine a Colonial wheelwright

who refused to learn the settings of his lathe, or an ancient Greek

baker who simply would not let other bakers tell him the ingredients

of bread. Ludicrous.

Espresso is, fortunately, a small drink, so I was able to finish on my

own time and leave before I had to sit through any more gut-wrenching,